Raiméis

Twenty has an interesting one about the quality of Guinness abroad so I thought i’d add my Finnmarks’s worth. It’s a subject close to me heart … it’s not just teabags we expats (I don’t remember being a pats in the first place but whatever..) miss, nor taytos (the real ones) it’s also da black shtuff. Ah shur ders nuttin behher than a grand pinta shtout rih enuff. An i’ll tell ya, as ye may well know, a good pint is hard to come by outside our own shores.
I (i’m likely alone in this and have no problem admitting i’m a sad git) actually enjoy visiting Irish bars* when abroad and have made it a mission to try to visit as many as possible during my trips abroad. But while traipsing about the planet with work i’ve only gotten to a few Irish bars in places like Finland of course, Estonia, Germany, France and Hong Kong. It’s not that many (i’ve visited a lot more countries) but in each place i’ve sampled the Guinness and lived to tell the tale. I turned down Guinness in China however, you have to watch what you consume there or you could end up with a wicked case of the skitters.
In most places i’ve been where i’ve sampled the stout it’s been, not surprisingly, shite but there’s a wee alcoholics pub about an hour from here that serves grand Guinness, almost (but not quite) as good as home! The main Irish bar in this town (not the one below) serves half-decent Guinness, it’s drinkable … until you hit your fifth or sixth then you’d want to slow down.

Anyway, before this turns into an essay here’s a few tips for Europeans on how to look after your Guinness drinking customers. The Guinness will never match up but here’s some things to watch for…

1. Buy some Tulip glasses ya fucking tulip
2. Learn how to pull a pint, glass tilt & settle time are important, it’s not a cheap beer to be filled by pressing a button on your automatic filler thingies. And don’t fill it up completely first time!
3. A pint is a pint not some European almost pint, when ya top it up it should right to the top! *ergh!*
4. No bloody shamrocks in the top of the pint please.

Get those few things right and I might order a second…

*There’s a pub in this city actually called “Irish Bar” … and there’s fucking nout Irish about it apart from the name and the Guinness sign out front. Awful place, just awful. I’m having cold sweats now just thinking about it. I visited it the first time I came to this city for a job interview and swore i’d never return. 4 years 7 months later I haven’t been back there. I wouldn’t mind but the bastards have a prime location right in the city centre across the road from one of the main hotels. Think of the unfortunate tourists who wander in there. It’s not right so it’s not.