… and roads. Irish drivers and roads. In the words of Johnny Cash, “damn your eyes”!
I’ve been spending a lot of time on the road over the past 6 weeks or so. I’ve been doing close to 500 miles a week (2 × 250m trips) … which is a lot for someone who supposedly has an office job (I should be driving a desk not a car). And over the course of the past number of weeks I’ve become more and more pissed off with our shite roads and our shite-ier drivers, so much so that when one particular driver cut me off last week I lost all sense of self and could be heard to utter in a slightly raised tone “flip you, you … … flipper and your flipping cutty-off car!!!”
Following three days of medication meditation and solemn reflection my frustration still hasn’t subsided, I am still miffed so once again “flip you … you … you motherflippers!!”
You’ll probably see little more here in future but a lot of whinging about shite roads and our clueless drivers but shure isn’t it the season to be griping! What? Season to be jolly? How can you be jolly this time of year … traipsing all over the country spending your hard earned cash on mp3 players and pajamas for cunts who don’t appreciate it only to find yourself in debt for the next three months! Bah humbug! Flip off!
I feel your pain, brother. I’ve done about 1300 miles in the last week alone.
Thursday was the worst. Nearly three hours get from Lovely Laois to Durty Dubbelin in the morning, due to an accident on the M50 at 7 am (before I had even got into my car in LL.) Had to go to Blanchardstown early afternoon to collect some stuff and then on to Limerick. Took ages to get out of Dublin, then had to face roadworks and all other manner of shite, including some bad motherflippers who shouldn’t be driving at all. Eventually got home at 10pm.
I console myself that this is the last week of this crap before I can relax for a while.
1300? Brutal !! I’d be suicidal … or homicidal even!
Has Ireland been over-run by penguins? Dolphins? Sea-lions? Deep sea divers? What’s with all these flippers?
My advice is to get a Hummer or some other fuel guzzling monster of a car (maybe a snow plough) and put the stereo up full blast with ur sunglasses on and just drive like the road is clear. And FLIP anyone the bird after you drive over their Astra with super size spoiler and go-faster-stripes.
Or better yet; get a helicopter.
A hummer with a kick ass 0.5mm gun on top, yeah, that’s me alright!!
Arrah what ails you Ted? C’mon giz a kiss and Auntie Devin will make the boo-boo go ‘way.
I was in a bitch of a mood, bitch