Déardaoin (Thu), Meitheamh (Jun) 30th

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands...
...and the rest of the year on the financial rocks - Sam Ewing.
You'll notice the absence of posts in the last few days, I was up to my eyes this week, the reason ... preparing for vacation! Tomorrow morning i'll be catching a SAS flight for Dublin. Ahead is two and a bit weeks of Lyons tea, taytos, cadburys chocolate, proper Guinness, Pat the Baker bread, coleslaw, boxty, club orange, driving on the correct side of the road, talking normal, decent pubs, some more Guinness and whatever else I can squeeze into the next 16 days! It's very unlikely that i'll be online during this time, I really need to peel myself off the PC for a while, so until next time, I bid you adieu!
more..
maca @ 11:32. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Price of benziini
Can't believe the price of petrol these days. I just got petrol a few hours ago ... fifty fuckin two fuckin Euros. It wasn't so long ago I could fill the tank with £20. I only own the car about 7 years, the price has doubled during that time. Bastards! more..
maca @ 10:31. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Dé Luain (Mon), Meitheamh (Jun) 27th

Is Brendán talking through his Erse?
I'd heard via Slugger that the Sunday Indo launched a 'stinging editorial on the EU's recognition of the Irish language' so I went asearching. I don't know if this is the one Mick was referring to but Brendan O'Connor has cúpla focal [registration cheat] to say. It's quite possible the article is tongue in cheek (though i doubt it), if so i'd advise Brendán to remember to add a smiley to the end of any such articles in future. The words "langer", "tosser" & "wankstain" spring to mind here. Excuse my French. more..
maca @ 04:45. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Forrin keyboards
You have possibly noticed that on every forum or mailing list where you are likely to get some Irish somebody has raised the question of how to add fadas. And in response people have posted all kinds of solutions like using a character map, or downloading keyboard layouts or using Alt Gr, or even using the USCII character codes. Thing is, isn't it about time somebody made the case for getting proper keyboards in Ireland? I mean, how do they manage in France or any other country which has accents on their letters? They manage because they have proper keyboards. I have what I presume is a scandanavian keyboard, I have specific keys for letters like ö, å or ä. I also have a specific key for accents so doing fadas is éásy ás píé. So listen up Dell, Apple, Compaq and all the rest, start supplying proper fucking keyboards to Ireland. We need a fada key! I mean it! more..
maca @ 04:24. [Trácht amháin]

Golf dunny
A friend recently returned from a stay in China and had some interesting advice to give to others travelling there. Of the many points he raised two in particular stood out for me, basically because I have a sick mind, food and 'food disposal'. To deal with the latter first ... generally in China they don't use our western style toilet with a nice ceramic bowl for you to sit on, instead they have the little hole in the ground which you must hover over in order to deposit your goods, I guess it sort of resembles the cup on a golf green. It takes some getting used to. Regarding the food in China, wonderful it is, but with different bacteria in the food it can lead to stomach problems for many people. On my brief stay in China I had no such problems but I was only in the region for a week (most of the time actually in Hong Kong, eating western food) but many people can react quite badly to the food. Combining these two things, the food leading to stomach problems and the sh1t hole and you have a potential disaster on your hands ... or in your pants.
Imagine you have just popped down to the cantine for lunch (in a work scenario here), you had a nice bowl of 只針對軟體, you don't know what the fuck 只針對軟體 was but 只針對軟體 was damn good! You're sitting back in your office, happy as larry, when suddenly a tummy rumble disturbs you. The tummy rumble begins to sound and feel more like a volcano, molten liquid running through your bowels, heading for the exit, you head for the exit. You race to the jacks, dash into a cubicle, drop your pants and drop your arse to the floor aiming for the golf cup. Thrusting your body into such a seated position only adds to the immense pressure and the explosion which follows must surely shake the very foundations of the building. But what relief ... what joy comes with that release of pressure. However relief quickly turns to horror as you realise that without the funnel shape of western toilets with it's wide catch-all rim in close proximity to your relief valve you have just splattered half the floor in skitter, not to mention the back of your trousers. Oh the horror! Your mind is racing, you don't know what to do, and what can you do but pray to Budda that the golf hole will open up and swallow you whole. If ever there's a time for your prayers to be answered it's now!
The moral of the story is don't visit China, or if you do then don't eat the food, or if you do then immediatly after eating head for the dunny and await the impending volcano. more..
maca @ 12:55. [4 tráchtaí]

Déardaoin (Thu), Meitheamh (Jun) 23rd

De Brún EP speach as Gaeilge
Bairbre de Brún became the first person to address the European Parliment in Irish today following the decision to make Irish a working language. About EU has all the details including the speech text.
I didn't think anyone was allowed to use Irish in the EP just yet, I thought it wasn't coming in to force until 2007!?
In related news Jim Nicholson of the UUP has been whinging & moaning about the status upgrade of Irish. more..
maca @ 10:43. [2 tráchtaí]

Dé Céadaoin (Wed), Meitheamh (Jun) 22nd

Sail away sail away...
I was looking forward to see how they would get on with this Cosmos-1 Solar Sail experiment, but it looks as if they've lost the damn thing. I suppose when you stick a pimped intercontinental ballistic missile up it's ass and fire it off from a nuclear sub there's a good chance something could go wrong. more..
maca @ 12:45. [Níl trácht ar bith]

New childcare funding package
Now this interets me. Michael McDowell's expected to announce details of a multi-million Euro package for childcare services thoughout the country. Reports say the funding would be used to encourage groups to set up after school childcare services in school buildings.
Thinking about moving back to Ireland one of the biggest concerns for me is childcare. What do you do when your child finishes school at 3 (or whatever time young kids finish school), both parents work until 5 and you have no friends or family in the town who can help? We're sorted here at the moment thanks to an excellent daycare, but daycares in Ireland are a scandalous price (twice the EU average) and when our child starts school proper he'll finish in the afternoon and will need looking after. Most of these services in Ireland suck big time. I don't mind paying higher taxes here because at least I get the services I need ... not so in Ireland. Why move back at all!?!
Related:
• Report - Developing Childcare in Ireland[PDF], A Review of progress to end 2003 on the implementation of the Equal Opportunities Childcare Programme 2000 – 2006.
• Childcare Survery 2005 - with some astonishing information on the costs of childcare. more..
maca @ 12:26. [6 tráchtaí]

Dé Máirt (Tue), Meitheamh (Jun) 21st

Human rights denied
Should underwear be a basic human right? How about razor blades? Twenty seems to think so. Maybe it's time to take to the streets and demand change! more..
maca @ 02:06. [Níl trácht ar bith]

IRA victim search
The Irish & British Governments are to fund a forensic expert who will be tasked with finding the bodies of 5 young men who were murdered and secretly buried by the IRA back in the 70's and early 80's. Some of the candidates being looked at have experience in locating bodies in Bosnia and also those involved in murder cases in England. It will be some weeks before the experts are chosen but hopefully those chosen will be able to bring closure to these cases. more..
maca @ 02:01. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Do you want jam or marmalade on that?
More toast up for auction on e-Bay, this time with Michael Jacksons whiteish mug on it. Apparantly the slices are not fake ... they popped out of their toasters before or during the verdicts
Whoever buys these are about as dumb as the gobshite who bought the Virgin Mary toast for a staggering $28,000 last year. more..
maca @ 01:46. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Déardaoin (Thu), Meitheamh (Jun) 16th

A lost childhood
The sad story of a Congolese child, how she has tried to make a life for herself despite losing her parents, living rough & working for food, and watching her sister die on the streets of Kinshasa. Just one of a million tragic stories in Africa. Makes ya think doesn't it? more..
maca @ 10:31. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Murdering scum
Some masked gunmen stormed a school today holding the young kids as hostage. Initially there were about 70 kids, aged 2-6 but the gunmen later released 30. They were demanding money, weapons and transport and when they didn't get all that they wanted they shot one of the kids and threatened to shoot the other kids one by one. The school was an international school with kids from all over including some Irish kids, the child they picked out was a 3 year old boy from Canada. Now what kind of sick motherfucker would take a 3 year old child and shoot him in cold blood? What sort of twisted mentality does it take to do something like that, an innocent child and blast him with a shotgun. The death penalty is too good for scum like that, I hope they face much worse. I'd have no problem with seeing these sort of people tortured on a daily basis for the rest of their pathetic lives. more..
maca @ 05:29. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Guinness out forrin
Twenty has an interesting one about the quality of Guinness abroad so I thought i'd add my Finnmarks's worth. It's a subject close to me heart ... it's not just teabags we expats (I don't remember being a pats in the first place but whatever..) miss, nor taytos (the real ones) it's also da black shtuff. Ah shur ders nuttin behher than a grand pinta shtout rih enuff. An i'll tell ya, as ye may well know, a good pint is hard to come by outside our own shores.
I (i'm likely alone in this and have no problem admitting i'm a sad git) actually enjoy visiting Irish bars* when abroad and have made it a mission to try to visit as many as possible during my trips abroad. But while traipsing about the planet with work i've only gotten to a few Irish bars in places like Finland of course, Estonia, Germany, France and Hong Kong. It's not that many (i've visited a lot more countries) but in each place i've sampled the Guinness and lived to tell the tale. I turned down Guinness in China however, you have to watch what you consume there or you could end up with a wicked case of the skitters.
In most places i've been where i've sampled the stout it's been, not surprisingly, shite but there's a wee alcoholics pub about an hour from here that serves grand Guinness, almost (but not quite) as good as home! The main Irish bar in this town (not the one below) serves half-decent Guinness, it's drinkable ... until you hit your fifth or sixth then you'd want to slow down.

Anyway, before this turns into an essay here's a few tips for Europeans on how to look after your Guinness drinking customers. The Guinness will never match up but here's some things to watch for...

1. Buy some Tulip glasses ya fucking tulip
2. Learn how to pull a pint, glass tilt & settle time are important, it's not a cheap beer to be filled by pressing a button on your automatic filler thingies. And don't fill it up completely first time!
3. A pint is a pint not some European almost pint, when ya top it up it should right to the top! *ergh!*
4. No bloody shamrocks in the top of the pint please.

Get those few things right and I might order a second...

*There's a pub in this city actually called "Irish Bar" ... and there's fucking nout Irish about it apart from the name and the Guinness sign out front. Awful place, just awful. I'm having cold sweats now just thinking about it. I visited it the first time I came to this city for a job interview and swore i'd never return. 4 years 7 months later I haven't been back there. I wouldn't mind but the bastards have a prime location right in the city centre across the road from one of the main hotels. Think of the unfortunate tourists who wander in there. It's not right so it's not. more..
maca @ 12:44. [8 tráchtaí]

Dé Máirt (Tue), Meitheamh (Jun) 14th

Jackson Verdict!
Big hullabaloo on BBC World now, everybody watching & waiting in anticipation for the verdict in the Jackson trial. Should be any minute now... NOT GUILTY of all charges! more..
maca @ 12:05. [Níl trácht ar bith]

Dé Luain (Mon), Meitheamh (Jun) 13th

Irish an EU Working Language
What some people have campaigned hard for has finally come true, the EU have today made Irish an official working language of the EU with effect from 2007.
Below is a press release from Dháithí Mac Cárthaigh, Chonradh na Gaeilgereceived via Gaeilge-B...
Edit: Slugger readers have their say ... some of the usual suspects with their usual 'waste of money' comments.
Edit2: Via Slugger I found 'Back Seat Drivers' who gives his view on ths issue as well as some useful infomation. Even though Irish is now a working language we have gone for the 'slimmed down' version (like the Maltese) which will cost €3.5million pa. Translation costs for other language cost up to €46 million. Also, in Spain Catalan, Basque and Galician have received improved status:
"Under the agreement, citizens writing to the EU institutions will receive a reply in their own language as well as in Spanish, and EU legislation will be translated into these languages, although it will not have legal value in this version." more..
maca @ 06:00.

Dé hAoine (Fri), Meitheamh (Jun) 10th

All Ireland Electricity
Shocking news (sorry, pathetic I know but I couldn't resist), an all-island electricity market is on the way. more..
maca @ 06:47.

Dé Céadaoin (Wed), Meitheamh (Jun) 8th

Female orgasm is 'down to genes'
The reason why some women have problems reaching orgasm might be down to their genes??? Lads, lads, lads, if you're not up to the task just admit it! more..
maca @ 06:28.

HP Learning Center
I just signed up for a free online course with the HP Learning Center. I've no idea if the classes are good or not, they could be absolute shite, but they are free and definitly better than nuthin. I signed up for the 'Building web applications with PHP and MySQL' course. I've done *some* PHP/MySQL on my own, learning from a book and some online tuts but I haven't even opened the book in over 6 months so this course might drag me back into the subject, and help me finish off a 'control panel' application I started working on long ago. Anyone every tried these courses?
Update: Ok, I just signed up for another course Introduction to XML. more..
maca @ 10:31.

Dé Luain (Mon), Meitheamh (Jun) 6th

Irish bigotry?
Have you heard about the shite at the game with Israel on Saturday? You'll find some shocking information on the soccer boards. Disgraceful scenes of Palestine flag waving, Nazi salutes etc. It's not 100% clear to me who was the real cause, the IPSC (pro-Palestinian group) or ROI fans but these scenes were downright disgusting. There is no room for this sort of shit in Irish football.
Also, Israeli keeper Dudu Awate was 'attacked' in the Burlington, he had a bucket of ice thrown over him. I can understand peoples anger after his onfield antics but this is unacceptable... more..
maca @ 02:55.

Dé hAoine (Fri), Meitheamh (Jun) 3rd

Serb Video
You heard about the video showing Serb soldiers executing Bosnian Muslims? I saw this video yesterday, it's very disturbing. I won't post the link but if you are like me and have a morbid sense of curiousity mail me and i'll point you in the right direction. Btw the video on the BBC website appears to be an edited version. more..
maca @ 11:14.

There's sick and then there's SICK
"Police in Austria said today they discovered the bodies of several newborn children in the freezer of an apartment building in the south of the country" ... I can't read anymore. more..
maca @ 11:05.

Camera Noise - Gimp Plugin
Flippin excellent. Via Donncha's blog Holy Shmoly I found this cool plugin for Gimp which removes digital camera noise. I suppose I could have found it if I spent more time around some of the Gimp sites but I rarely use Gimp anyway, it drives me nuts, never does what i want it to do. Anyway today Donncha gets the credit.
One thing I am cursed with is the lack of a proper digital camera. I have a 35mm AF Minolta SLR which I rarely use so instead I try to take most pics with my camera phone, a Nokia 7600 (opens new window). It is actually surprisingly good ... if the light is good, when the light is bad you can forget about taking pics. Pics are only 600px*480px but overall it suits me as it's more mobile (excuse the pun) than the SLR and does what I need it to (take quick snaps of the young fella etc).
Back to the flippin noise, in lower light this is a big problem for me ... hense my delight at finding this Gimp plugin which I hope will clean up some of my pics. I haven't tested it yet but will this weekend and if the results are good will post them here.
p.s. anyone want to buy a Minolta SLR? Think I need to buy a proper digi-cam. more..
maca @ 10:47.

Déardaoin (Thu), Meitheamh (Jun) 2nd

Life by Twenty Major
This is why I enjoy Twenty Major so much, If I could, or how about his take on the foiled armed robbery in Dublin the other day in Oh, good shot, Sir, or simply short posts on customs. Add this lad to your bookmarks, and when you're feeling a little frustrated (like I often do at work) then pay this funny cunt a visit, and you'll cheer the fuck up in no fucking time. Oh yeah, the drawback is the you'll have the mouth of a hoor if you spend too much time there... you cunt more..
maca @ 11:34.

Dé Céadaoin (Wed), Meitheamh (Jun) 1st

June 1st
Crap, is it June 1st already?? Was it not just last week that I complained it was May 1st!?! Shite.
So what's big in the news today on June 1st 0000 AT? The Japanese are dressing down, the Dutch are at the polls, the Swedes are going non-nunclear, us Irish are finally finishing the M50 only 2 years behind schedule, in Brazil they're taking role playing games to a new [fatal] level. In the US Deep Throat is coming out of the closet, so to speak, while Bush is dismissing Amnesty's claim that the US is setting back the cause of human rights. In the entertainment world Paris Hilton is getting hitched, Brian Harvey of East 17 ran himself over with his own car, the trial of Wacko Jacko is nearing an end with closing arguments about to start, while Christian Slater is getting a tad too touchy feely.
Nothing very exciting so far on June 1st. Lets see what delevops in the afternoon. more..
maca @ 11:32.